• Tamara Trotman-Simon

Want to Be Happy? Don’t Give a Damn!

Updated: Nov 6, 2018

"There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way." - Bhudda

Living an Unconditional Life on Your Terms

Surprised? What if I were to tell you that your greatest source of unhappiness is your caring what others think about you and what you're doing? What if I was to also tell you that you could regain your happiness simply by letting this go. “I know…I know.” Your saying, “Wait…What? How is this possible? What about those closest to me?” Well, I am here to tell you it is possible even with those you care about the most. This is where becoming “unconditional” comes into play. You are loving yourself, your life, and how you feel more than anything else. I am hearing a lot of you say, “That means I am being selfish. I can't do that." I say, no you’re not being selfish. You're loving self. There is a huge difference. Your focus is on looking to yourself for love and feeling good and not to others. This is key. Disappointment and disillusionment disappear for you have full control of your thoughts, beliefs, emotions and vibration, moment by moment.

Unconditional living is two-fold. The first is releasing or unlearning societal norms, values, beliefs and conditioning that prevent you from being the abundant being you really are, and relearning ways that promote who your Soul truly is. The second, is on an individual level where you remove your focus from what others are thinking about you or what your to be doing and instead, focus on your own expansion through self-inspired action or personal development.

I can confidently write about this because I, myself, went through this process a couple of years ago. After having four bouts of depression and many years living with anxiety. Finally, decided to embark on a journey within to find who I really was and what my purpose was on this planet. I received guidance to let go of things and ways of being that I had outgrown, and so I did. It was like a huge weight had been lifted, I felt lighter and happier. This is where I also discovered the influence of energy and vibration. The more I let go, the higher my vibration rose.

Your happiness is your natural state of being, however, if you focus your attention on things that negatively impact your thoughts and emotions. It will impact your vibration as well. Let go of living a “conditional” life where you are reacting to what others say or feel about you. When you live this kind of life, you are emotionally and vibrationally all over the place. This creates insecurity, instability, and powerlessness within yourself, thus blaming those around you. Instead, find ways to be happy from within, and the things you are doing. You do this by taking full responsibility for how you feel and your connection to self instead of looking to the world around you. You understand that it’s not the obligation of others to make you happy. This is strictly an inside job. You will no longer say things like: In order to feel good, I need YOU, SOCIETY or the WORLD to be or act a certain way, or I will exhaust myself trying to live up to the expectations of SOCIETY, family or friends. Instead, you will say, I love who I am, and I am deciding to live an authentic life. One that excites and delights me. Even if my life may not be exactly what I want it to be in this moment, I am choosing to be happy anyway. Why? I am guided to make choices moment by moment that will enhance my life experience now. Not 10 minutes from now, tomorrow, or next week…Now.

Here Are 7 Benefits to Living an Unconditional Life:

  1. You are able to feel what your soul and source feels for you.

  2. Your confidence increases substantially.

  3. You trust yourself and your ability to create the life you want on your own terms.

  4. You feel good about yourself, which decreases negative thoughts.

  5. You move through the world apologetically, authentically, and truthfully.

  6. Your vibration naturally raises, and incredible feelings of self love, joy, bliss, freedom and excitement become more of your experience more of the time.

  7. You stand firmly in your power which feels like groundedness, centeredness, fearlessness, stability, and security.

7 Ways of Becoming Unconditional

1. Seek counsel from your Soul and Source and follow your own inner guidance.

2. Disconnect from the outside world. Stop watching low vibrational TV, negative music, and the news.

3. Stop Minding other people's business

4. Become deliberate in the thoughts your thinking. You are only thinking thoughts that feel good and move you emotionally upward.

5. Refrain from any negative conversations that involve complaining.

6. Speak your truth to those who are expressing their opinions about what they feel you

should be doing. They are simply demonstrating their conditional way of being.

7. Clearly communicate to others that you will no longer look to them to make you happy and instead work to do that for yourself through things of interest to you.

I want to address the topic of loved ones like parents, partners and children. I am not saying to ignore your loved ones altogether. What I am saying is to make your relationship with yourself, your higher self and Source the most important one. Constantly check in to see if what is being asked of you will make you happy. For example, a family member informs you that you are “too sensitive” and need to toughen up. After going within, meditating and quietly reflecting you realize you are in alignment with your Soul with strong intuition or psychic abilities. If you were to listen to your family member, you would miss on an incredible opportunity to really get to know yourself, discover your "god given" talents and develop them. This is what I mean by tuning to who you really are because who you are is truly magnificent!

Love and appreciate others for who they are, however, love yourself more. You are definitely worth it. Living an unconditional life is a deliberate choice, and one that requires focus and attention. If you follow the suggestions above, I promise you, you will see and feel a huge difference within yourself. You will feel so good, you will not want to go back.

So, with what you have read here, what are you prepared to do? Has any of what I said sparked new ideas or inspired your own changes in your life? Please comment below three things you will stop doing as of right now. I can’t wait to hear all about it.

Love and Blessings,


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Quote from my new book:
"It is what you believe that will determine your enjoyment on this journey".
- Jared and the Sacred Emerald

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