Conscious Parenting: The New Normal

"A conscious parent is not one who seeks to fix or create a perfect child. The parents understand that this child has been called forth to raise the parent itself." -Dr. Shefali Tsabary

A defining moment comes when you hold your precious little one for the very first time and stare into the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen. Love and appreciation flow from you as you observe in awe the perfection of this little being. Who knew that something so incredible would facilitate so much expansion? All of the things you dreamed you would do change in an instant. In this moment, a new version of yourself is born, and thoughts and ideas to support where you now stand follow. You are forever changed by this moment and continually change with each passing day. This new relationship requires you to level up in a way that no other experience has required of you before. Congratulations! You're now a parent. The big P. What does it really mean to be a parent? Most of us don't know what that really means until we are knee-deep in it. This experience will be the greatest blessing, for it will help you to grow in a way that no other life experience can.

When becoming a parent and being faced with raising another human being that you love so much, you begin to listen to the voice within, for the calls are too undeniable to ignore. You can feel that the values and beliefs you hold are now outdated and no longer fit who you now are. It is in this moment that you realize that both you and your child deserve more. More of what? More of you! The happier, whole, more loving version of you. Only when you build a loving relationship with yourself does everything change. You have now come to realize that the divine aspect of self has always been there urging you to the right course of action and alerting you when off track. Always offering ideas, answers, solutions, and strong impulses which lead you to great expansion, love, inner peace, and joy. In laying a solid foundation with Spirit, you have been guided to take a step back and provide space for your children "to be." To be in the whole of who they really are, to explore their interests, to fully express themselves, and to love them without conditions. You know what? The truth is your children are your greatest teachers, reflecting back to you things that do not serve, which assists you to become more of yourself so that you become the parent they need. Your approach to parenting will completely change, for you are consciously aware of your relationship first with the highest part of yourself, and then parent from this connection.

Conscious Parenting

It's about becoming conscious of your own moods, attitudes, and habits to ensure you are in alignment with your Soul and Source before moving into your day and interacting with your child(ren). You will also be reminded that your children have come fully equipped with the knowledge and skills needed to live in their own truth and fulfill their own dreams. To fully embrace this as a parent, respect what they decide by supporting their connection to who they really are. Do not instruct, demand, scold, or control them or their experience, for this doesn't feel good to them. Loving, supporting, guiding, uplifting, and soothing does. Your inner guidance will let you know what you're doing through your emotions. If feeling peace, joy, certainty, trust, and knowing, then you're in agreement with your Soul. You will then be inspired to say or do things that perpetuate how you're feeling. If you are fearful, worried, mistrusting, controlling, or manipulating, then you are not really connected to who you really are in that moment. Using your emotions as powerful guidance will make parenting, believe it or not, easier, and here's why.

Becoming Unconditional

There is a key component to parenting, which is being "unconditional." Most parents think being unconditional is to give selflessly and with great sacrifice. This is not what being unconditional is, nor is it love. This is lack consciousness in that it is about neglecting oneself for another. In this case, you cannot give what you have not accomplished for yourself. "Being" unconditional is you in your wholeness, truth, and connection, seeing your child(ren) thriving. It's flowing love in all moments, especially when they show up as less than who you know them to really be. It's seeing their potential and being so unwavering and steadfast that you are unbothered by their behavior. You understand your child(ren) have their own Inner Being who is guiding them. You are so stable, sure, and secure in your own well-being that you don't ask your child to change so you feel better. Instead, you stand in your observation of your child, seeing, feeling, and knowing them from the perspective of Source. This means the perfection of who they are and where they are going is highlighted, and who they are choosing to be in that moment is diminished.

The truth is that this takes focus. You are to focus yourself into alignment and then interact with your child. If who they are being or how they are being is bothering you, this is not the time to engage. Go off and think about positive aspects that you love about them and what they are living. For example, your child comes home with a tattoo. Many parents react and speak words that say, you need to be or do something different in order for me to feel good, and if you don't, I will be angry. Some parents have a perspective about tattoos and project that onto their child and react to the situation. In that moment, love is not flowing. It's focusing on the unwanted, which invokes negative emotion, and the solution is to control and manipulate to feel better, i.e., grounding, punishments, withholding items, love, etc. Worrisome thoughts and emotions are dominating. Once the child adjusts what they are doing or how they are "being" in that moment, the parent feels better and therefore flows love. The child is guided away from his or her own guidance, realizes that he or she cannot truly be themselves around you, and you will only see an inauthentic version of him or her. This is when most parents feel they no longer know their child and experience emotional distance.

Our True Role as Parent

Conscious parenting is about self-awareness and ownership. To parent in a way that fosters authenticity, encourages kids to find their own truth and power, and supports their own inner guidance, here are some things you can do:

1. Talk about who they really are: a being who has come to experience life for themselves, who is on their own path.

   
   

2. Talk about their birthright, i.e., they are whole, worthy, abundant, blessed, loved, and adored, guided by their Inner Being to be their true authentic selves and move towards what makes them truly happy, even if that is different from what you want for them.

   
   

3. Teach them about their internal guidance system. Their inner best friend/soul is guiding them to decisions that lead them to what they desire. They will know by how it feels. Positive emotion means they are moving towards who they are and what they want, while negative emotions mean focusing in a way that isn't in harmony with their higher self in a way that isn't i harmony with their higher self.

   
   

4. Emotions are powerful and necessary. Teach them the broad range of emotions, acknowledge and support them when they express them, and show them how to deliberately choose the best-feeling ones. Feel the negative emotions when they come up, acknowledge them, and release them with love and compassion.

   
   

5. Teach them how to love themselves by letting them see you love yourself.

   
   

6. Seek alignment and teach through the clarity of your own example.

   
   

7. You're not always going to be in alignment, so in those moments let them know you're not in alignment, excuse yourself, and get back into alignment. Let them see you in alignment.

   
   

8. Be unconditional. Recognize that your children will make their own choices and accept this. Allow them to experience life for themselves. Know that life will naturally cause them to expand. Stand by them from a place of alignment and remind them in moments of unwanted circumstances that all really is well and that things will get better. Be there not to save, but to shine the light and encourage them on their path.

   
   

9. Release your resistance around change, for this is inevitable. Allow your children to fulfill their own desires and become who they truly came to be.

   
   

10. Allow your children to experience their own contrast, for you understand that contrast is necessary for the creation of new, improved life to come. As words don't teach, only experience does, telling your child not to do something is meaningless for them. It is okay to allow negative experiences to happen, for it helps them to identify new desires based on the life they are living. I must note here that when seeking alignment, Source, Inner-Being, or Soul will never lead them into anything dangerous, but will call them through something so they can gain clarity and self-awareness and give birth to what is truly wanted.

    
    

11. Finally, our relationships with our children are constantly expanding because we both are. We simply have to allow it. If you do, things fall into place, and the relationship becomes much easier, even during the teen years. Trust me, there is nothing more powerful than a confident child trusting and believing in themselves and their guidance. You, as the parent, are there to soothe, believe in them, hold unwavering faith, remind them of who they are and their incredible guidance, and show them how to continually come home to themselves.

You are surrounded by so much love here. If you have any questions or would like personalized coaching, feel free to send me a message.

To alignment and well-being.

Tamara