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  • Writer's pictureTamara Trotman-Simon

Want to Be Happy? Don’t Give a Rip!

"There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way." - Bhudda

Living an Unconditional Life on Your Terms

Surprised? What if I were to tell you that your greatest source of unhappiness is your caring what others think about you and what you're doing? What if I was to also tell you that you could regain your happiness simply by letting this go. “I know…I know.” Your saying, “Wait…What? How is this possible? What about those closest to me?” Well, I am here to tell you it is possible even with those you care about the most. This is where becoming “unconditional” comes into play. You are loving yourself, your life, and how you feel more than anything else. I am hearing a lot of you say, “That means I am being selfish. I can't do that." I say, no you’re not being selfish. You're loving self. There is a huge difference. Your focus is on looking to yourself, or the Source within, for love first, and not to others. This is key. Disappointment and disillusionment disappear for you understand that no one can give to you what Source can.

Unconditional living is two-fold. The first is learning to let go. To let go of the belief that it is another's responsibility to make me happy. It is equally important to let go of the belief that you are responsible for the happiness of another. We have all trained one another at some point, but it doesn't work. Instead, focus on connecting to Source to know what is known and felt about you. When you do, you become the abundant being you really are, and flow the love that is you, to the other. The second, is on an individual level where you remove your focus from what others are thinking about you or what you're to be doing and instead, focus on your own expansion through self-inspired action or guidance from your divine self.

I can confidently write about this because I, myself, went through this process a few of years ago. After having four bouts of depression and many years living with anxiety, I finally, decided to embark on a journey within to find who I really was and what my greatest intentions were on this earth. I received guidance to let go of things and ways of being that I had outgrown, and so I did. It was like a huge weight had been lifted, I felt lighter and happier. This is where I also discovered the influence of energy and vibration. The more I let go, the higher my vibration rose.

Being unconditional means focusing on how you feel, and happiness is your natural state of being, except for when you focus your attention on things that negatively impact your thoughts, emotions and vibration. Let go of living a “conditional” life where you are reacting to what others say or feel about you. When you live this kind of life, you are emotionally and vibrationally all over the place. This creates insecurity, instability, and powerlessness within yourself, thus blaming those around you. Instead, seek happiness from within, and in the things you are doing. You do this by taking full responsibility for the thoughts you think, how you feel and your relationship with self instead of looking to the world around you. You understand that it’s not the obligation of others to make you happy. This is strictly an inside job. You will no longer say things like: In order to feel good, I need YOU, SOCIETY or the WORLD to be or act a certain way, or I will exhaust myself trying to live up to the expectations of SOCIETY, family or friends. Instead, you will say, you, outer world, are off the hook. Things do not have to change to be happy. I will choose to be happy anyway, right now, or I love who I am, and I am deciding to live an authentic life. One that thrills and fulfills me. Even if I'm not exactly where I want it to be in this moment, I'm choosing to be happy anyway. Why? I am connected to Source and discovering the joy within. I am also guided to make choices moment by moment that will enhance my life experience now. Not 10 minutes from now, tomorrow, or next week…Now.

Here Are 8 Benefits to Living an Unconditional Life:

  1. You are able to feel what your soul and source feels for you, and what you truly desire.

  2. You will a greater sense of freedom.

  3. Your confidence increases substantially.

  4. You trust yourself and your ability to create the life you want on your own terms.

  5. You feel good about yourself, which decreases negative thoughts.

  6. You move through the world unapologetically, authentically, and truthfully.

  7. Your vibration naturally raises, and incredible feelings of self love, joy, worthiness, freedom and excitement become more of your experience more of the time.

  8. You stand firmly in your power which feels like well-being, confidence, stability, and security.

7 Ways of Becoming Unconditional

1. Seek counsel from your Soul and Source and follow your own inner guidance.

2. Stop watching low vibrational TV shows, music, and especially the news.

3. No longer mind other people's business.

4. Become deliberate in the thoughts your thinking. Decide to only thinking thoughts that feel good and move you emotionally upward.

5. Refrain from any negative conversations that involve complaining, gossiping or criticism.

6. Speak your truth to those who are expressing their opinions about what they feel you

should be doing. No one can possibly know you more than you or Source knows you.

7. Clearly communicate to others that you will no longer look to them to make you happy and instead work to do that for yourself.

I want to address the topic of loved ones like parents, partners and children. I am not saying to ignore your loved ones altogether. What I am saying is to make your relationship with yourself, your higher self and Source the most important one. Constantly check in to see if what is being asked of you will make you happy. For example, a family member informs you that you are “too sensitive” and need to toughen up. After going within, meditating and quietly reflecting you realize you are in alignment with your Soul. If you were to listen to your family member, you would miss out on an incredible opportunity to really get to know yourself, discover your "god given" talents and develop them. This is what I mean by tuning to who you really are because who you are is truly magnificent!

Love and appreciate others for who they are, however, love yourself more than their opinions of you. You are definitely worth it. Living a conscious, unconditional life is a deliberate choice, and one that requires focus and attention. If you follow the suggestions above, I promise you, you will see and feel a huge difference within yourself. You will feel so good, that eventually you will no longer care. If it happens, not big deal. Focus yourself into a better feeling place.

I am always here to help, so if you would like to learn how to do this through one-on-one Coaching, send me a message and let's chat! Please like or comment below your thoughts.

Love and Light,


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